fun captured

When I was younger, I wanted to become a photographer. But when our only camera broke when I was little, I stopped taking pictures altogether and soon gave up the dream. Luckily, two years ago, my father bought an expensive digital camera. I started taking pictures again (though I must admit, I'm quite mediocre at the talent) and though my mother was totally against it (reiterating the price of the camera) I convinced her to let me bring the digicam to malate and take pictures of my friends. I captured the priceless moments during the Paulthenics lunch, the muziklaban concert, regular class days, special occasions, and just random picture-taking.

Here are more pictures. A continuation of the "gallery" below. hehe.

Cornbits.

She's shy. :)

CHOKING PUSIT!

Palimos kay Jamie.

Never trust your best friend. Hehe.

akting na akting. hehe.

candid yan.

si kate! yahoo!!!

sino yung kamukha ni kim?!? - by request, I removed the picture. Kim told me it was a mess. Though I beg to disagree. :)

***

sapagkat walang pahintulot ang mga litratong ito, ilegal pa po yan. pero ok lang. so sue me. :)

by the way, may kasunod pa yan. ;)

time machine

I actually enjoyed rereading this one.

I was browsing my friends list at friendster (as usual... boredom kills) when I saw some of my old classmates' pictures with their new 'blockmates'. My stomach churned a bit. I started to search more of my schoolmates (not even just my batchmates) because I wanted to see some familiar faces again. It was quite hard for me to see them again (just their pictures) because I actually wanted to SEE them. I wanted to refresh the vague images of their faces in my head.

I do care.

True, I was quite an anti-social back then, but I did love my batchmates. I may not have been really friendly with everyone, and I may not have attended the batch parties, but I really did care. I guess just being at school and being around them (just hearing their noise, screams while wrestling, hearing the nonstop clicking sounds of the camera phones, and the constant "CR TAYO!!!", hearing the latest gossip being spread, and so many others) , [even around the people I disliked], gave me a twisted kind of satisfaction. Though I failed to know each of them personally, their mere presence uplifted me.

I enjoyed watching catfights (there are a lot, by the way), band competitions (yes, our batch is comprised of A LOT of talented musicians), battle of the brains and wits, the brainiacs' "pailalim na kompetisyon" since like fourth grade, the section-to-section competition (el fili, christmas parties, and other annoyingly shallow and stupid rumor-spreadings which caused serious BUZZ), BATCH COMPETITIONS (again with the annoying rumors), inter-school competitions, family day affairs (B-I-N-G-O! Isa na lang!), scream-for-the-win pep squad and cheering competitions (with the most repeated phrase every year "GINAYA NILA TAYO!!!"), endless singing competitions, classroom singing and partying when the teacher's absent, and so many other seemingly shallow but unforgettable events comprising high school and all its glory.

Those were the good old days, when all you cared about is what outfit to wear to the much awaited "non-uniform event" of Manresa, how to drop hints to your suitor/crush (it's either LEAVE ME ALONE, LOSER! or WE'RE FLIRTING, CAN'T YOU TELL?!), what to wear to the prom, and all those crap you thought you were going to die from if you didn't have your way. You see high school now from a distant bird's eye view, and think "LOOK HOW SIMPLE IT WAS BACK THEN!" It amazes me that after experiencing the horrors of college, I finally saw high school's real drama, its true beauty. Those were some four years, a zig-zag emotional pile of shit about the "first love" and quest for dull grades (a.k.a. A+ A+ A+ A = MUNDANE!). Those were the best! Now it's time for some REAL studying, REAL INSPIRATION, for that infamous DEAN'S LIST and the SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM. You're actually aiming for the REAL thing, and the real pressure is finally here. Tip?! Roll around the pig pen that is high school! Have fun! Of course, if you are indeed a smart masochist, go for mundane! Enter the up/ admu and lose yourself! :)

No regrets for me. Why? Because though I failed to study in some prestigious college, I met some of the most beautiful people from this incredulous twist of fate. No regrets entering St. Paul. (Well, maybe some. ;) )

NEWSFLASH!!!

Manresa, though flooded by scandals/oppressions this 2005, keeps its head up! Hurray for the sisters! We love thee brave nuns!!!

***

DO YOURSELF A FAVOR, START ROLLING! It's the only way to enjoy HIGH school. And as for the kolehiyalas/yolos out there, convince yourself : NO REGRETS! God bless the world this 2006!

12:00 am Christmas day

Everyone's asleep. Happy birthday Jesus Christ.

***

I should get started on my lying around time. I'm so lonely I could cry. Huwapak. Joke lang.

***

Random Thoughts: My favorite pastime

1. I have written two entries in a span of about two hours?! How pathetic.
2. What's more pathetic is I can't remember how many hours it has been.
3. Without the internet, I would have gone loco.
4. My dog is frightened out of his mind because of the fireworks. It's Christmas! Adik sa paputok!
5. I want them to stop scaring my dog. He's such a scaredy-cat. How sad.
6. I have many connections with people. Because of boredom, I clicked on my friends' how you're connected to clicky thing. It turns out we're really very connected.
7. It's Christmas. I'm celebrating my Christmas with blogspot and friendster. Techno sapiens. Wehe.
8. The friends tv show's characters are quite nonsensical. The show as a whole is not. I looooove friends!
9. Nothing here satisfies my appetite. I miss someone. Ha? Food tapos tao. Weird. I really don't know who I miss.
10. Sino kaya yun?
11. While typing, it turns out, thoughts multiply. Dumadami yung 'random thoughts'. Hehe.
12. Kamusta na kaya si Pat, Joanna, at Moreen?
13. Nabati ko na ba sila?
14. Incubus. Genius. Woopidoo. I wish I could've gone to their concert.
15. Sige na nga, I'll play typer shark. Sayang gabi ko. Hehe.
16. There's no alcohol?! It's christmas!
17. May namamasko. Kawawa naman siya. Oh well, poorita eh.
***

I'm still troubled about the freaking ENVI SCI.

***

I'm starting to feel better.

For the nth time, Merry Christmas. Sana may regalo. Hehe. Quits quits kaming lahat dito.

10:10 pm, New Year's Eve

There is absolutely nothing to do here. I'm still quite nervous, waiting for a call from Asian and waiting for the questionnaire from Makati Medical Center and all. I can't seem to sit and think straight, because there's still no assurance of if ever we will have a hospital. Oh God, I really have created a problem.

I sat for an hour on the stoney steps afront our house. It was chilly, and being alone, it was quite depressing. The neighbors were playing a very sentimental christmas song very loudly. The christmas lights which were festooned at their gates were flickering madly, and all of it was making me feel like an abandoned lover in a sad christmas hollywood film. I'm not really sure what happened next, but I started walking, reminiscing perhaps and trying to absorb the vibe of what 'solitary christmas' is all about. I'm not saying my family has abandoned me or anything (Home alone ba ito?) but it was my decision to escape from the house, trying to absorb the "true meaning of christmas" which they were all talking about by myself. I was incessantly digging my soul for some answer, because it's cruel to be sad during christmas eve, but I still felt so lonely and disssatisfied. I remembered starting to feel this way, and my friend texted me with a slightly humorous tone "Don't forget the true meaning of Christmas". I was struck with confusion. What did she mean by that? It was so cliche-ish, but I failed to understand what it meant. Text messages flooded my two cell phones (one for the sun subscribers and the other for the normal ones) and all of them contained the phrase "God blessed you and your family this Christmas..." Does it mean if you don't spend your holidays with them, it's not Christmas at all? It's a seemingly very childish thought, but I just can't grasp its reality.

Maybe it will take years before I finally realize things on my own. I fear that no matter how people try to explain what it really means, I will fail to recognize its essence. Yes, it really is about Jesus, but how come atheists and agnostics celebrate Christmas? It's a holiday in vain; christmas bonuses, getting drunk, gifts, non-working holidays, and all that bull. But what if I'm just plainly unhappy. Perhaps I am. I'm still a mess. I've screwed up my life. It is still reversible, but how can I possibly restore everything if there are many 'things' which I have to consider, things that are purely selfless. Sorry if my entry is this messy, moving from one topic to another. My questions still hang, and possibly all of them, along with the christmas lights, will be festooned in the gates and wrapped in the coconut trees every christmas. I'm still waiting for something to answer it, and along with its answer is a giant hand to give me a slap, and a giant saliva-filled mouth will be reciting a mantra "Shut up and listen!" Because I admit I have a tendency to seek for (difficult and complex) answers which will satisfy my brain, not the simple truth which it holds.

I opened my ym account. Crap, no one's online. I wish I weren't online right now. It's too sad to be online during christmas eve. Goodness, I must really be lonely.

***

Sorry about the very negative entry. Hope you're reading this way way after christmas, because it means you've enjoyed the holidays.

God is my lighthouse

Guiding my aqueous transmission,
I will never be lost at sea.

Thanks to my savior.

***

Count your blessings.

1. Tapos na ang STS. Finally.
2. My mom's helping us in the hospital situation.
3. God created man. Then there were computers. Then the Internet was born, ang #1 detox.
4. He blessed me with reliable friends.
5. When I'm troubled, I pray to God. Then I speak to my dog. I'm reassured.
6. I'm still alive, though flooded by school work and problems (na kaakibat ng schoolwork)
7. The list goes on...

***

I'm happy. But I feel empty. Am I making sense?

I'm still a mess.

***

Feverish

There's this particular person I hate. I don't know how to stop hating her. (For those who have some reactions, especially to my friends, don't worry. She's not who you think she is. She's some other irritating organism.)

She's the most insensitive person, and it pains me to hate her because I really don't want to. She's annoying, self-centered, dense, lazy, and she does everything for HER benefit. She's starting to kill me. She's getting into my nerves, blood vessels, lobes, and absolutely every molecule in my system. The negative energy surrounding her is infectious. When she's in a bad mood, my mood turns sour. When she's all perky, I get irritated and my mood again turns sour. God, do help me!

She thinks we're close (as I've told you, she's dense) and whenever we speak to each other, I have this urge to shut her out (but of course, I can't.) I feel miserable. Will I ever recover from this? All I want to do is rant about it. I want to scream and let the world know just how lousy I feel.

***

I'm a mess.

Random thoughts

My thoughts are screeching in my head. Waha. Salamat sa inyo.

My worries and random thoughts.

1. Environmental Science. Huwata. Ask pusit. I'm grumbling. I'm dying.
2. I miss my best friends. Paintball daw. Movie. Wala. Poorita eh.
3. Exams. Layo pa. Feelingera ko naman. Aral today, forget tomorrow.
4. Gifts. To my best friends, highschool friends, friendly friends, college friends, friendsss, PAMILYA... Asa. Umasa ka pa sa poorita.
5. Typer Shark
6. Diet. Wala. Holidays are toxic.
7. Strange Pilgrims by Gabriela Garcia Marquez. Huwata. I can't read and worry at the same time. It's unfair to the book.
8. Po-on. Exchange gift by Sionil Jose. For crying out loud, he's at Faura. Autograph!
9. Harry Pootah. I left the sixth book at the dorm. It was too heavvy! I should be reading it right now.
10. King Kung. Ang pangit. Yak. Dragging.
11. Exams exams exams. Books books books. Dreams. Tsinelas lost. Birthday. How to spend a worry-free holiday. Sun walang signal. Malamig na pasko. Hay.

Thanks pusit for reminding me I have a blog. I always tend to forget. Woopie.

***

I miss...

Si chuva 1 and 2. Ahehe. My roommates can attest to that. Hehe. Malamig ang paskooo!!!!

***

Mga yuto-yuto. Ahehe. It was a fun period.





There's a light.




Stress-reliever





Sheer cuteness





Kim's rubber face: always imitated, never duplicated


Part two of my revenge. :) ang cute mo pusit!




Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.
These three are evil. Hehe.


***

More pictures next time. :)